uNeXpeCttEd

As usual nag cutting ulit hehehe. . . But I had a complete day today though hehehe. . .

Sory, takutin nyo pa man din ako hindi uubra sa akin yan. Nakaka adik yung racing ah you should try manual rather automatic, its really challenging but cool. At least you can control your speed. Guys wag na tayo masyado mag cutting at mukhang nasosobrahan na ata, heheehehe!

REFLECTION:

Ei I hope you like the gift I gave you. It's for real. Don't think of something else I just want to share what I have with you.

Thanks for believing and trusting on me. Even, I, myself can't believe too to what had happen. The meeting went well. But still I am surprised to myself. Honestly to, tell you the truth, I didn't prepare that much. I am not lazy though, it's just when I am reporting or talking in front I would prefer the words to come out naturally than prepared. If ever prepared I'll just put bullet points at an index card and will just elaborate further. But tonight it was not me talking, but Him. And what an honor to use me as his instrument.

whAt's nExt?

Grabe naman! First yung obviously scripted death ni Vince McMahon tapos ngayon naman yung real death ni Chris Benoit. He was not alone though he was with his family. Well to the Rabid Wolverine, I salute you. Thanks for the entertainment. . . Have fun there with Edie Guerrero!

Nice chillax by the way last Saturday! Hehehehe pare easy next time sa pag-inom! Welcome back sa nakabalik hehehe! Kaya natin toh! Sorry though I felt like I had not contributed anything. . . I'll work out the activity.

Buti na lang may nakakita ng Microbio book ko, I almost spend another P700. Pakapal na ng pakapal ang mga libro na binabasa ko. Tapos tinatamad pa ako lately :(( I should change my habbits na at lately kung di sabaw, sabog naman ako.

REFLECTION:

I never thought that I will be seeing you again. So now that your here, to tell you honestly I don't know what to do next. There is this something that keeps me close to you and there is this something that keeps us apart. I understand that you need to focus on your studies. But, you, being so close to me confuses me a lot. Then your going to open up that your going to set aside relationships for your studies. But what really makes me wonder is that your telling me that you are confused also of something that you don't want to talk about (but you just brought it up), what's that suppose to mean? But if I am right, we both have something in common. I don't wanna risk something with you, not now.

I am deeply sorry my dear brother and sister. . . But a lot of changes happened to you both. . . What happened to the commitment? What happened to the sharing and openness? What happened to my brother and sister that I really know for so long? Sorry if I am such a meddling kid but both of you now, are having a world of your own. With in this world you limit yourselves together in such a way that you are now forgetting others. You are always inside a sound proofed room. I am saying this not as a big meddling kid but as a concerned little brother.

cLoSiNg SuMMeR

Well mag sesecond year na ako hahaha, ok lang kahit hindi natuloy yung mga plano ko this break as long as naka enjoy ako hehehe.

Ano ba yan wala pa tayo sked hehehe! Pero meron na tayo officers, haha.

REFLECTION:

I could now see the stakes are getting higher and higher but whatever it is, I am ready for it now. But this doesn't mean that I will get the hold of this for a day. This may take me weeks or even months. But I am up to the challenge. This has now become the survival fittest.

Yes we are now close, even though we had been knowing each other for only a couple of months. So honestly I'll miss you a lot. I know that you can make it. Take care of yourself and keep in touch.

F*** I really hate good byes!

dIssApOiNtEd

Well naka enroll na ako, mag kaseksyon nanaman kami ng section ko last year but some are wala na. Buti na lang hindi ako nagka waiver hehehe ang dami meron sa amin eh.

Sayang! Kung alam ko lang na sabay kayo mag enroll, sasama talaga ako sa inyo. Or kung sana man lang binigay na lang sa amin yung clearance forms then makakasama ko kayo. I really wanted to change my section to meet new people. But I guess hindi talaga pwede.

Just watched Ocean's 13 nga pala, hehehe. . .

REFLECTION:

Have you ever felt like you're all alone in a group? I always carry this feeling of solidarity. Every where I go it seems like I am not fitted to the picture. Am I really a loser or just over reacting? I can't believe that all of my hard work will just end up in a bin. Was it worth it? If it was why is this happening to me? Did I just got lucky? Or was it just because of my absence? I felt ashamed to tell you honestly. I will not be surprised if you guys discriminate me or whatsoever. I remember the time that I gave up everything to move on-- I guess I really did give up everything. So now I really have to give this up, right? Give up all our old times. Or am I just taking this seriously? Probably this is what I get for being so selfish; maybe I deserve this? Over and over again, sacrificing the things that you had is really a pain in the ass. You may either gain or loose. I felt like I am a computer that's not been updated for a long time.

Chapter 2

The sun has fully shown its light to the world. The cool air entering the window and its curtains follow the rhythm. Carrying a smooth and gentle breeze to a tight spaced room. The sun's light gently touches her face waking her up with a bright and beautiful morning. Her eyes opened slowly and locked its gaze to the clock; the time was 6:30 am. She slowly got up from bed, tenderly holding her big stomach and approached the crib near the door. He is still in deep slumber.

"I hope she'll like this for it will be my last for now." Perry said to himself as he turns over the fish from the pan carefully.

"When will you be coming back, daddy?" Monique asked seated at the dinning table eating breakfast.

"I don't know, honey." He answered, he approaches his daughter, knelt to her and said

"But, I, promise you this," he grabbed her hand holding it with affliction “When your daddy comes back I’ll give you a surprise.”

“May I know the surprise?”

“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you.” She then carried her from the chair kissing her from the chick

“Oh dear your getting heavy.”

“I know.” She chuckled

“How old are you, sweet heart?”

“Eight years old!”

“You’ve grown so much now, you love the breakfast that I’ve made for you?” he asks giggling her daughter’s nose

“Yeah, it makes me grow strong!”

“Yeah, and your about to drain mine by burning it.” Elaine said coming in the kitchen turning the gas stove off. Perry then carefully drops his daughter and said,

“Okay, darling, go ahead fix yourself and give a final look at your things.” Her daughter quickly ran upstairs, back to her bedroom. When their daughter was out of sight they gave each other a kiss and sat down at the table.

“What’s so funny?” He said noticed that Elaine was laughing

“Did you just make this?” She asks looking at the salad on the table in front of her

“Yes, why does it taste bad?”
Elaine grabbed a spoon, scooped a little and put it inside her mouth.

“Hmm, tastes good!” She said, impressed by his creation
They could hear the foot stomps from daughter heading downstairs towards them. When she got into the kitchen she gave her daddy and mommy a good-bye kiss. She quickly ran outside the house and headed for school.

“Very brave and charming, isn’t she?” Elaine said

“She’s so young but she faces the world as if she knows it all.” He replied standing up the table getting his plate to the sink. “She knows the dangers that could lurk in every corner but it seems like it didn’t matter to her.”

“She got it from you, dear. You made her strong.” She said standing up and hugging her husband from behind.

“Both of us are facing scarcity but yet, you made things possible for her, for us.”

“Its time for me to go.” Perry said turning to kiss her

“Take care of yourself.” She said,

Perry kneels down and kisses her stomach,
“I’ll be seeing you soon my little angel.”

He then went to the living room to get his travel bag. As he heads for the main door and opens it, he gave his final world.

“I’ll be back soon.” And he closes the door behind him

“Take care!” she said as tears ran down from her eyes.

rEaChiNg oUt

Ano ba yan! Hindi matutloy yung panonood ng Pirates 3! Oh well, napanood ko na siya actually nung Sunday with dadehyoh. Kaya nga lang hindi ko masyado naintindihan yung movie, is it because the way they project the script or I need to watch part 2 again? Well basta for me ang lalim ng movie.

Naks at least may work na hehehehe send my regrads to your husband. See you all guys soon.

REFLECTION:

I had finally open up myself to you. I should have done this sharing a long time ago. But this doesn't mean that everything's too late. Rather, this is a good head start for my upcoming obstacles. The story that you told me, truly, was inspiring. Thanks for the time, understanding and advices. I am hoping that one day, we would all be together in a gathering. I really miss you guys a lot.

Chapter 1

"Are you ready, now?" Kervin has always been asking this question to Dray every time he wakes up. But Dray would always reply,

"Not in the mood man, maybe next time." As he heavily carry his body to the washroom to do his morning routines

"When will you ever grow up?" He said in disgust.

Dray had nothing left but his cousin Kervin, his parents and sister had left him behind. They were fed up of the boy's idle life. But Kervin, being in the family that's rich and strong has always been supporting his cousin ever since childhood. They treat each other as if they were brothers. Dray had never been like this, so down, pale, depressed and pathetic. His cousin could not believe on what seemed to be a brave, dilligent, talented and young faithfull competitor, has now become a coward, lazy and weak being that he had ever seen.

"What made him like this?"

Kervin would ask himself as he watch his cousin washing his face and brushing his teeth. He would then go back to his room scattered with his school books, papers and clothes. His room was filled with clothes that he can't distinguish the old ones from the new. His cousin had already gave up fixing his room,

"I had never seen him this disorganized."

He said to himself everytime he sees Dray's dirty room.

"But thank God at least he eats at the dinnning room."

"I am going out now." Dray said, he had not taken his bath nor combed his hair.

"Won't you eat for a while?" Kervin asks

"Not hungry." Walking towards the door twisting its door knob

"You sure you had everything with you?"

Dray didn't reply and closed the main door of the house behind him.

"May God have mercy on you."

Dray would always head first to Cafe Macho, three blocks from his house. He does not go inside and eat, instead he goes behind it towards the big lake to watch the sunrise. He always observes the people around him as the sun rises from the horizon. He mostly envies the children playing at the play ground near by the lake. He would always say for himslef:

"So young and innocent for now, but soon their laughter would turn into tears and from fun to sorrow as they would soon journey to the world of so called reality."

As the sun has fully shown itself, he would welcome the day with either hatred or regret. Wishing that he had not woke up that morning. Questioning himself and to God,

"What have I done wrong that I deserve this kind of life?"

He wanted to cry but not a single tear drop from his eyes. So much anger, so much pain, staring at the sunrise with grief as if he carries the world around his shoulders. Wanted nothing more but peace of mind that seem so far away.

gIvE iT aLL

Guys ang saya talaga, no words can describe what I felt that night. Hahahaha tricycle driver uyyyy mas malala pala ito =))!!! Mr. Free here is your coffee bwahahahahaha!!! Buti na lang I have savings for you hehehehe kung wala ewan ko na lang hehehehe. Its okay lang for me to spend for you its worth it naman eh, heheheh!

REFLECTION:
Tonight night was different from all other nights. It was an extra ordinary experience in my part and it was a privilege to be there offering my musical talent for Him.

We will have our time don't worry, neither of us are in a hurry right? I could wait, time will come that we will lead for them.

Thanks to your advice, I think I have found the courge to move on even further. But there will always be a mark left on me. Even if I don't like my group, I think I have found my attachment to them. It is so difficult to let go. There will always be a sacrifice to everything that I do and I find this frustrating. But like you said I don't need them.

Love lots, I miss you, see you soon. . . I think that day will be my last with you. . . You know, your right, I should have been there. I can't believe that I had been so selfish and numb. I think this was my biggest regret. I didn't take the chance to say sorry. The chance of asking why did this happen between us. The chance of reaching out to others who I think were also trying to reach out to me. Now I have to face these regrets thats haunting me. But like I said, I am ready for round two. I will use this to redeem myself; that is if there will be a round two.